I wrote this one back in January…. it’s finally making it’s debut…
With Ben out of town, it’s amazing to me how easily I fall back into my old routine. Popcorn for dinner, long baths, blogging frequency increases, suddenly I’ve hopped back in to the world of the internet and gotten up to date on my reading. While I’m enjoying this rare alone time, the emptiness of this big house and the fact that Ben’s not here is more than noticable.
I’ve never been afraid of living alone. I’ve lived alone off and on since I graduated from college, and I’ve always been fine with it. But since I’ve lived with Ben, things are different. I’ve gotten used to him being here – feeling secure and safe, and just being around as a companion. Now when he’s gone, it bothers me.
To add to the situation, the Sacramento Sheriff department uses the helicopter quite a bit when they’re out searching for someone, and they seem to be on the search in our area nightly. It isn’t until you’re alone that you realize the frequency of their searches, and the proximity to your house. I actually had a dream about a helicopter cornering Ben & I in the back yard – we were the culprits they were after, and they hovered no more than 20 feet above us with their spot light blinding us. I’m thinking it was brought on by the two patrols the went past earlier that evening.
On the flip side, I’m actually much more creative in my cooking when I’m eating alone. It’s easier to try new things when the only critique is your own. I made a veggie stir fry with a soy teriyaki sauce tonight. It was quite yummy. I’m considering whipping up a batch of my “Diet Coke Cake” (containing just box of cake mix & a can of diet soda – mix together, follow the box directions for cooking and enjoy!).
It’s a shame – as I write this I know that it won’t see the light of day for at least a week… while I’m not afraid of being home alone, I’d still rather not advertise it to the world while it’s happening.
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